Monday, November 18, 2002

The thesis is finished. Thank the powers that be. In this case, I'll thank myself for putting myself out of my own self-indulged misery. I mean, really. I've been sitting on finishing the damned introduction for weeks now, just because I'd rather be reading or writing fiction instead of an introduction to fiction. But there were spots in the intro that I enjoyed writing it.

I am pleased with Ms. Bond for not erasing what she wrote yesterday evening. I myself wrote in the "affirmation" vein of literature several days ago, and there is always a part of me that goes, "bullshit", afterwards. But you know what? Some of that life affirming bullshit is just true. As much as we've been taught to find it new agey and abstract and downright embarrassing, it is: it's true. I applaud you, Guru Gwenda.

I've been reading Say...Was That a Kiss? in between the thesis and my working class fiction course, and writing for my fiction workshop. Lovely lovely stories. I really liked Kristin Livdahl's "Ohkami", and Richard Butner's "The Secret Identity". Both were intimate and sad and sweet. Kristin's piece is a nice slice of Japanese nightlife--of course I was taken with the club scenes. And Richard's college romance was just, well, lovely and innocent in its revelations, and made me long for a me that's no longer around, or if he is around, is not so innocent any longer. Tim Pratt had an interesting cross-cultural fairy tale. Or should I say, "Unfairy Tale", an apt title. Justine Larbelestier has a good one here too; she always draws good dramatic scenes, with a rushed lyricism that, for me, has always recalled Joyce Carol Oates' gothic stories. I haven't read the rest of the stories yet, but this is a tight package. The poetry is all very good.

Gwenda is going to practice karaoke. I think the rest of ya all should do so as well. I will not forgive a second bad performance of Love Shack in the future. I've put the past behind me, so we can all move on. But no more faking that you're going to be up there singing the damned song with me, and then kinda singing. You all got the moves, I'll give you that. But can you belt it out next time we find ourselves in a karaoke situation. I have contacts in Madison who are making sure we have a place to jam when we're there for Wiscon. So you have all been warned. Gavin--I expect that if you do not karaoke, that you will at least teach me the Highland Fling. Deal?

I am in search of a love song actually. Either sad or happy, it doesn't matter. I noticed a few months ago that all my karaoke songs are slightly manic. Why can I sing The Ramone's "I Wanna Be Sedated", but nothing sweet and sentimental? I have that side of me clamoring for attention too. I suppose this relates, to some extent, back to Guru Gwenda's hesitation to post her good approach to the world sort of meditation. (Am I afraid to be sappy in front of others?) If I have to put that in parentheses, it's probably true.

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